Come and follow me

As a Christian the most common question I think I have been asked is "why does God let suffering happen" or variants on that theme. If this Christian God is so good why do bad things happen. Why on earth should I believe in a god that would allow that to happen?

 Matthew 7

¹³ ‘Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. ¹⁴ For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.'

People seem to have this strange notion that once you become a Christian life is going to be hunky-dory. Pain and suffering are going to be a thing of the past and that because God is on your side everything is just going to be one big party from here on.

I hate to burst the bubble, but this cannot be the case. There is nothing nice and easy in the words ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.' These are words that are familiar to most churchgoers, maybe so well known that we cease to think about their significance. The Message paraphrase aids us in our understanding of this passage with the following

Luke 9:23-27

^23-27 Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I’m leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels. This isn’t, you realize, pie in the sky by and by. Some who have taken their stand right here are going to see it happen, see with their own eyes the kingdom of God.”

When Jesus was on the cross he was totally separated from the love of God. His very father totally turns his back on him because Jesus takes our sin upon himself to save us. No amount of pain and sense of isolation from God can compare to the suffering of Christ. If we are to live up to the meaning of the name given to us (little Christ - Christian) then it is clear to me that we shall share the experience of the pain endured by the prototype.

All this seems awful and might put people off being a Christian. Why would you choose to suffer, to make life harder and give up all control of your life? It doesn't really make sense! The thing is, however, that we will never suffer as much as Christ. It is indeed possible that we will be taken to the limits of what we can bear, but as long as we put our trust and live in the hands of God we will never be taken past our limits. Jesus says in Matthew 11 ^{30 '}For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’ He isn't saying there will be no burden but that it will be bearable. We aren't going to find ourselves beyond what we can cope with. 

Hard times happen to enable us to grow stronger in our faith when we become overly confident in our own abilities as humans. The hard times can have two outcomes:

a) To push us into a corner whereby we have no choice but to rely on God or 

b) We decide that we are having nothing to do with a God that we believe is unfair, nasty and allowing us to go through a living hell. 

If we choose option a then life becomes more bearable, not necessarily easier but certainly more bearable. We gain our strength from the one who enables everything to be.

We are free to choose option b as a result of freewill but it comes with issues as it is in effect rebelling against God. In church we have a word for this - SIN - Those who go down this road have a choice repent and go back to the hard way that leads to heaven, or take the seemingly easy way out. Unfortunately that is not such a nice way as it leads to the gates of Hell. 

Below I have drawn a picture that I hope explains what I have said above:

 

 

We start off in our Christian lives in the presence of God, indicated by the bottom Y. The centre of the picture indicates where the presence of God is. With every choice we make we have the option to get closer or further from the plan that God has for us and thus from God.

The further our lives get from God the harder it is to come back, because we have made barriers between us and God. This is something we have done whether by temptation or deliberately. As a Christian it is vital that we spend time in the presence of God discerning what is and what is not the way of God. This is a process that is arduous in many ways.

Priorities

If you were to draw a list of the things that are important to you, what would it look like? For most people it would probably include things like :

• Leisure
• Socialising
• Work
• Family
• Friends
• Religion/Faith

The big question then is in what order would you put that list? What are the most important things in your live?

I would hope that family and friends would come pretty high on the list, work and play probably would come just below them but where would you put religion and faith? If you are someone who is dismissive of such things then it is going to come at the bottom of the pile, in all likelihood. If you attend church however it could be seen to come into several different places in the list. If you are a committed follower of Christ then this becomes a little more complicated. It is obvious that our faith should be the most important issue in our life and thus that God should be at the top of the list, he is after all a jealous God and takes exception to other things being seen as being more important than him. For proof of this look at many sections of the old testament - the people of the covenant spend 40 years in the desert for a reason (see Exodus).

The big question is how many of us actually do this? The complex bit is that God should actually envelope the list, he Should be important in every item of the list. In everything we do we should be enabling God to work in our lives. As we spend time with Friends and Family, God wants to be there. As we work, God wants to be there. As we go through good and bad times, God wants to be there. You cannot and should not confine God to a list.

Prayer

Prayer

What does it do? 

What are the benefits? 

Why do it?

 Who is it for? 

My aim is to answer these questions in this post!

What is the purpose of prayer? I would say that prayer allows us to have a conversation with our God and prayer is in some ways is easy. To pray we just speak, aloud or in our minds and God hears. This is easy; The challenge comes with listening to God.

Below is a quote from the Goon Show spoken by Ned Seagoon and another, quoted by Kallistos Ware.

"Hello, Hello! Whose speaking?"

"You are speaking"

I fear that far too often we speak and don't listen. We complain that we don't hear God's voice but are not patient to listen. Sadly his voice is quiet and requires patience to hear. So often we have much to say and interrupt God. We ask for this and that but don't listen to what he has to say to us. This sort of prayer whilst making a good start is deeply flawed.

We believe as Christians that Christ died so that humans can have a relationship with God the Father. This is something that blows my mind. How do we build this relationship?

By reading the scriptures we get an idea of who God is and we find our place in creation. It said by some that the bible is a manual for life, but I think that this is an over simplification. It is indeed part of the purpose as we find in 2 Timothy but not the full story. The bible tells us who this God is and why we exist, from Genesis to Revelation.

If you went to interview someone famous you would likely do so research into the person. It is an issue of respect to the person. It allows a rapport to be made between interviewer and interviewee. The bible allows us to get ourselves right before we speak with God. Despite this I suspect we often get things wrong!

When we speak to God what do we talk about? The Psalms could be seen as the recordings of
prayers of David. In them we see him speaking to God in every possible situation. A case of "Hi God, this is how my day has been. Can you sort things out for me". In a previous post I went through the Lord's Prayer, that acts as a guideline for what should be in our prayers. We often pray that God would be in our situations and protect us from harm. Alas frequently it is all too easy to forget to say thank you when he does.

So far I have attempted to give a overview of prayer in our personal lives. I will now try and seek to look at how praying for others works.

The most common reason that we pray for other people is either that they are ill, or that they need a car parking space! I believe that only one of these types of prayer are valid! By praying for the sick we follow in the example of Jesus, although we have to ask God to do the healing in the form of prayer as opposed to using our own power.

When we pray we often use the words "in the name of Jesus". Why do we do this?

I believe that when we say"in the name" we actually mean "I am praying as Jesus would do." Of course this is quite a bold thing to do and maybe we too often do it! Jesus states that when we pray in his name to the father, that that we pray for will happen and in the context of above this makes a lot of sense. It can also lead to a lot of dissapointment when we use these words in our prayers and nothing happens. The reason, I suspect, that nothing happens is because what we are praying for is not the will of God in such cases.

To work out what the will of God is requires us to seek his voice and this brings us back to having a relationship with him. When we do have a relationship we find out what he wants us to be praying for and we see the miracles that come from such prayer. Prayer is a discipline that takes patience but is ultimately rewarding.

Worship

I have spent the last couple of weeks thinking on this topic, since being challenged by a friend to write a post on it.

Firstly lets look at how Worship is defined in the modern dictionary and then I shall try and set the topic in a biblical context.

worship

[wur-ship] 

noun

1. reverent honour and homage paid to God or a sacred personage, or to any object regarded as sacred.

2. formal or ceremonious rendering of such honor and homage: They attended worship this morning.

3. adoring reverence or regard: excessive worship of business success.

4. the object of adoring reverence or regard.

5. ( initial capital letter ) British . a title of honor used in addressing or mentioning certain magistrates and others of high rank or station (usually preceded by Your, His,  or Her  ).

 http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/worship

In my previous post I spoke of God being a jealous god to whom all praise should be given. In many ways this would appear to make life easy, that is to say that we now only have one direction to pray to. I wonder is this how many people see their Christian lives?

You go to Church in your best clothes, you sing the songs, say the prays, give money to the offertory(possibly as little as possible!), take communion and then get home having done your bit of worship for the week. I hope that most people who go to Church do not follow this way of thinking, although in my cynical and unpleasant moments I have wondered along these lines.
A few months ago some American friends asked me how many people in Britain are Christian. I had to say that I could not say. I have been too judgemental on peoples reason's for going to Church in the past and felt embarrassed when I realised I was wrong.
 
In the film Frozen love is defined as "Putting others needs before your own" and this I would say is a key part of Worship. To Worship should contain an element of sacrifice. In the Old Testament God requires sacrifice or offering to enable the forgiveness of Sins and as an act of worship. When giving an offering it is made clear that the offering should be the best possible. That is to say that God expects the best we can give. How often does our worship cost us? I believe that worship is to put the needs of God before our own.

In the New Testament we are given to contrasting examples, one being an act of worship and the other being an act of pseudo-worship. The example of real worship is shown in the case of the widow's offering. Here is someone who on the face of it has given very little, but in fact has given everything. You can imagine people looking at this woman in disdain at how little she gives and I think it is for this reason that Jesus has to explain the background. This brings us to the case of pseudo-worship, the case of Ananias and Sapphira. Here are two people who have given some money to the early church. This seems commendable, until you find out that they haven't given everything as promised. They have made the appearance of doing good works without the reality to back it up. They die because they perpetuated a myth of giving all to God, they let themselves lie to God. God isn't interested in outward appearances, they don't really matter, he is more interested in your heart.

We should not see worship as something that ends when we finish our prayer, or leave a Church building after a service. No; worship should be at the heart of everything we do. How often do we think of Work as a part of our worship to God? I have found that when I commend my work to God that I work better, knowing that by working for others I am offering myself to the service of God, I work in order that I might do something that pleases God. As I work I find time to pray and think, this is as much worship as singing hymns and worship songs. To worship you have to desire to do the will of God and to desire his presence.

Credo

"But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it, and how from childhood you have known the sacred writings that are able to instruct you for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped for every good work"

2 Timothy 3:14-17

 In this post I intend to look at the following ideas:-

• What is a creed and what is the history behind them?
• Where do the words come from?
• What do the weird bits mean?

We recite a creed every Sunday or whenever we celebrate communion. It is an integral part of church life. A lot of Christians know it off by heart and I suspect it is the most well known part of the service after the Lord's Prayer in many churches; but how many people know what it means?

The Creed began to be formed in the beginning of the 4th Century in the Council of Nicea and was finished was completed at the Council of Constantinople at the end of that century. The product of the first councils efforts was to produce a creed very similar to what we now call the apostles creed. It was in 381 that the creed we used today was formulated.

This is all very interesting but doesn't explain the need for a creed!

The dates give a clue as the need for a creed. We are now two hundred years after the death of Christ and people are starting to wonder about the exact nature of said Christ. Two hundred years is in the region of three to four generations, or three or four steps removed from the first Christians. For the first time there is serious debate as to what the Apostles taught. Many of the great voices of this time can say with certainty how they received their faith -

For example Gregory became a Christian because he spoke with Ignatius who had Cyprian who knew Peter - please note these names are meant as an example only

Through this I believe you can see that the Church's message was passed on very simply, but in a way that might be prone to the "Chinese whisper" problem. This is what the creeds set out to clarify - This is what the church believes. This is what the church has always believed. The creeds do not start the Christian church as a new institution, making a new religion, they just state what Christians have always believed. The first council of Nicea ended their creed with an anathema that states

"But those who say: 'There was a time when he was not;' and 'He was not before he was made;' and 'He was made out of nothing,' or 'He is of another substance' or 'essence,' or 'The Son of God is created,' or 'changeable,' or 'alterable'—they are condemned by the holy catholic and apostolic Church."

 In short the creed is a checklist detailing what you need to believe to be a Christian. The Creed deals with key issues of doctrine in five sections. Section one deals with the Father. It states that all creation is made through him, all that can be seen and unseen. There is nothing in this section that is hard to find in the bible. It is all to be found in the opening verses of Genesis. Biblically these are simple theological statements. The next section could be seen as more challenging!

There are several modern worship songs that seem to use the most obscure passages the writer can think of, and on the face of it section two does likewise. "We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,

the only Son of God" is nice and simple. There can be no arguments or brain scratching to its meaning! "Eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made" on the other hand is a bit more obscure. 

Eternally begotten is easy; Jesus is God the Father's only son and will always be the only son. God will have no more sons. Then we hit the tricky bit good and proper. What on earth does God from God mean? My understanding is that it is a way of affirming Jesus' trinity status. Jesus is a God but he comes from God the father, who says I am the only god you should be worshipping. Jesus sates that he is God by this statement. This is strong stuff.

"Light from light" anyone? 

God created light and he saw it was good, this is to be found in the opening verses of the bible. Light is always good in the bible, in fact Jesus is described as the light of the world. All goodness comes from God, who is without sin. Light gives life to creation and John says that Jesus is the source of this life. "Light from light" again affirms Jesus as being God.

What do we mean when we state "true God from true God?"Jesus when speaking about himself prophesies his own death in terms that are more obvious with hindsight. It is, in my experience, rare for a man to say he will come back from the dead having been in a tomb for free days and do so. It is in his actions that Jesus proves that he is not a normal human being but in fact God in human flesh. He is the real deal and there is no pretence in him.

"Begotten not made" 

Do we still use words like these. I only use the word begotten in church! Begotten means to be born and born legitimately. Jesus is not a son through adoption, he is truly the son of God. Jesus was around before creation as you will find in John 1. He has always existed and always will exist, whether creation as we know does or not.

This whole section we find affirms the divinity of Jesus Christ.

Section three is an affirmation and summary of the entirety of the New Testament, from Matthew to Revelation.

"For us and for our salvation he came down from heaven;

by the power of the Holy Spirit

he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,

and was made man."

 We believe that Jesus came down from heaven because we needed to be saved from our sins  He was conceived in the womb of Mary, who was a virgin. By this act he became fully human yet fully god.

"For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;

he suffered death and was buried.

On the third day he rose again"

 This is the heart of the Gospel message that Christ died that we may have a way of building a relationship with God. Because of Sin we could not have that relationship unless a sacrifice was made. Jesus has power over everything but submitted to earthly authorities. He was innocent but yet faced death for our sake, without fighting his destiny

"in accordance with the Scriptures;

he ascended into heaven

and is seated at the right hand of the Father."

Everything that Jesus did had been prophesied in the Old Testament. He has enabled culmination of the great plan that God has for humanity. Without Jesus nothing could work. After Jesus' earthly ministry was complete he ascended

"He will come again in glory

to judge the living and the dead,

and his kingdom will have no end."

Have you read the book of Revelation? It is a challenge but worth it. It takes time and needs studying. This last section of Jesus acts as a summary of the book of Revelation. It is evidence of the hope we have for our future, but also reminds us that we will be judged for good or for bad. 

"We believe in the Holy Spirit,

the Lord, the giver of life,"

The Holy Spirit gives life to the Church. It is the Holy Spirit who dwells amongst us as Christians. It is he who enables the work of Jesus to be carried out in our lives

"who proceeds from the Father [and the Son],

who with the Father and the Son"

The original version of the creed, as formulated in council states that the Spirit proceeds from the father which seems to be unambiguous and biblically accurate. I have put and the Son in brackets as it was added into the creed during the Sixth century and has not been formulated by an ecumenical council. Whether it is heretical or not can be said to be ambiguous, but I don't say it as a matter of principle. This small sub-sentence has lead to schism in the church.

"is worshipped and glorified,

who has spoken through the prophets."

As Jesus is a fulfilment of the prophets in the Old Testament, so too is the Holy Spirit. Peter speaks from the book of Joel on the day of Pentecost. Most of the Gospel can be cross referenced to the Old Testament.

"We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.

We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.

We look for the resurrection of the dead,

and the life of the world to come. Amen."

 The last section is a summary of the future and hopes of the Church. We believe in the Church, that is the body of Christ. This is a institution not of human creation, but one that has been handed down through many generations of Christians through the ages. The church is a body that will never fail.

We preach that baptism is a sign that we have been forgiven, being a practical gesture of giving our lives to Christ and starting our lives afresh.

Through the Resurrection of Jesus we have hope for the future. On Judgement day all the dead will rise as Jesus comes back in Glory and so we look for the resurrection of the dead as a sign of that which is to come. We look forward to the joys of salvation in all it's fullness and to being with Christ in his Glory.

As can be seen, I hope, the creed is a summary of the bible. It dogmatises the faith by placing pointers to key bits of the bible. We are not Christians because we recite the creeds, but because we believe in what they preach. The guide us to the bible. It is our duty as Christians to study our faith and to find out where our texts come from. Our texts invariably lead us to the bible. The bible invariably leads us to the wonders of God. 

The Nicene Creed in full

We believe in one God,

the Father, the almighty,

maker of heaven and earth,

of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,

the only Son of God,

eternally begotten of the Father,

God from God, Light from Light,

true God from true God,

begotten, not made,

of one Being with the Father.

Through him all things were made.

For us and for our salvation

he came down from heaven;

by the power of the Holy Spirit

he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,

and was made man.

For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;

he suffered death and was buried.

On the third day he rose again

in accordance with the Scriptures;

he ascended into heaven

and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come again in glory

to judge the living and the dead,

and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit,

the Lord, the giver of life,

who proceeds from the Father [and the Son],

who with the Father and the Son

is worshipped and glorified,

who has spoken through the prophets.

We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.

We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.

We look for the resurrection of the dead,

and the life of the world to come. Amen.

 Creed taken from the The Book of Common Prayer for use in the Church in Wales

Forgive.....and forget

How often, when speaking of Christianity as Christians, do we emphasise the nice bits of the faith - John 3:16 for example? How often do we teach the Gospel as Good News without a challenge? Do we teach the harsher sides to Jesus' teaching and the implications of it? These are all questions I have been thinking about whilst slaving away at work.

The title of this post came about through my thoughts whilst working, is it better to forget what has happened when we forgive someone; or is it the case that we forget what they have done as we are no longer affected by what has taken place.
From my own experience I can attest that forgiving someone does bring peace of mind. It doesn't change what had happened, but that doesn't matter any more. What I find interesting in Jesus' words to the "woman caught in adultery" is the last sentence - Go and sin no more, what does this mean and is it a challenge to us?

It is without doubt(at least in my mind) that the sin the woman was accused of had taken place.
Iit is also clear that Jesus does not condone the sin but does not condemn the woman either - this is good news and John 3:17 comes into action in a major way. The bad news, for those of us who suffer temptation, is that Jesus also lays down the challenge of "Go and sin no more" to us. 
In the Sermon on the mount Jesus expands the disciples understanding of the law. The believe that adultery is just a physical thing, but boy Jesus has a rocket for them. How many men think "Phwoar!" when they see a pretty woman? I would guess the majority.
This, in Jesus' words, is a form of Adultery.

We too often are seen to think of Christianity as an easy life - go to church on Sunday, go to Heaven when dead. This may of course just be my perception of how many people see churchgoers. Do we portray Jesus as someone who just wants a personal relationship with you, but miss out the part about needing to change your life to suit his desires? Always remember Jesus' cleansing the temple when asked "what would Jesus do?" The next thought that came to mind is the Lord's Prayer. How often do we consider what it says when by recite it Sunday by Sunday in church? Do we consider the challenges it poses? Do we even know where in the bible it comes from?  

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 

your kingdom come, 

your will be done, 

on earth as in heaven.

 Give us today our daily bread.

 Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

 Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. 

For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours now and for ever. 

It is important to note that this is a guide to praying. For our prays to have any effect we have to use this as a checklist.

• The first two lines are simple - we proclaim that God is in heaven, is holy and is our father/creator. In our prayers we ought to thank god for his amazing forbearance in allowing us to pray to him, through the grace of Christ.

• The next three lines are clear as well, though slightly more challenging - Have your way in us. Bring your glory to earth. This is more challenging as we are called to be the body of christ, that is Christ to the world. For God's will to be done we have to work to God's plan - See the book of James! Give us our daily bread is a line that seems so easy and is yet so hard. We are praying that God provides us with all that we need and yet we desire to fend for our self. This is taught in Matthew 6:25-34.

• Now for the lines that really challenge me - Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Taken at face value this indicates that to be forgiven you need to forgive. In other words your salvation is dependant on your ability to forgive. I have found through my own experience that when you do not forgive bitterness creeps in. A lack of forgiveness lead to breakdowns in interpersonal relationships and has a detrimental effect on oneself and those around you. We are not to seek revenge which is the opposite of forgiveness. When we seek forgiveness we need to be honest with God. He knows what we have done, what we ought to have done and what haven't done. At some point we will have to make a full account of what we have done in our lives. It is better to seek forgiveness now, rather than when the Lord sits in judgement!

•  Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil - in may ways this is the easiest line of the checklist. We pray that God will not allow us to have those "phwoar!" moments, or moments where we lust after something that is wrong. Jesus commands us to "sin no more" and yet without God's help that is impossible. It is through prayer and God providing our needs that we cut sin from our lives. As we pray we seek to come closer to the personality of Jesus, so that we can honestly pray in His name

• And finally we praise and magnify God as we do at the start. My favourite part of Anglican liturgy comes from 1 Chronicles 29:14b which states " For all things come from you, and of your own have we given you." All that we do we do in God's power and we give him all the glory.

I believe that if we pray the checklist through we will get to the heart of being a Christian. That is to be a follower of Christ making a difference in our locality. We have to change our lives, to forgive others and make hard decisions that go against human wisdom if we are to see the glory of God on the move. Forgiveness is not an easy process, it is much easier to seek revenge; yet it comes with so many benefits.

I would like to point out that my knowledge of where pieces of scripture are in the bible is a bit scanty! Biblegateway is a really useful tool for finding the passages I have been mulling over in my head through the day. I have been glad to find that I had got the context right for most of the scriptures throughout the day. I was obviously taught well in Sunday School!

Preoccupied with daft things!

Recently I have bought myself a study bible, which include the morning and evening prayers of the Orthodox Church. The reason I bought this bible is that I desired a English translation of the septuagint, which I believe to be the “real” version of the Old Testament....you've heard of King-James-onlyists, well you might say I'm a septuagint-onlyist! When I saw a copy of the Orthodox Study Bible in Cardiff I had to buy it.

I have found that using the Morning and Evening Prayers in my prayer live particularly useful, and use the Morning Prayer before my daily Bible readings, along with the epistle and gospel that is thoughtfully provided in the Lectionary. This morning I had to suppress a giggle whilst praying the “morning prayer to the holy trinity” as I read the sentence “You have not had indignation against me, for I am slothful and sinful” at 11am! I had a very good lie-in and had been quite slothful, compared to usual, but this line has led me to writing this post.

The thought came to me that people are often slothful in their prayer/worship lives, or so it seems to me. I know that on a Sunday morning I wake up at the last moment before preparing to go to church, and some of the youth often don't come because 9:30am does not really exist on a Sunday morning! I know people who think the idea of a church service before 11am is awful and who wonder how I cope. I cope because it is a privilege to be able to take part in worshipping God. Yet I know that I don't worship with as much zeal as I should.

So often we are very conscience of time in church and I think this is a bad thing. We are preoccupied more about “when this service is going to end” rather than “Wow.....God has done so much for me. He deserves my all and my time”. The thought comes to mind that I don't spend as much time in prayer and worship as I should. Wesley said that if he had not spent 4 hours in prayer his day wasn't as it should be. I have no excuse for not spending that much time in prayer and worship, being unemployed, but I do not choose to spend the time I should in prayer and worship. I am, so often, unwilling to hand my time over even though it would be beneficial for me to do so!

I spend so much time getting bored doing nothing when I could be reading Gods word, the Wisdom of God, but I don't. This is something I do not advise! More embarrassing is that people seem to think that I'm somehow doing well in my Christian life and tell me that I am a good example....this is sheer bollocks, as far as I am concerned! Please don't use me as an example of how to live the Christian life, because I suck. I guess the best I can say about myself is that I have noticed where I am failing and know what I need to do, it's just I can never seem to do what needs to be done.

I find that it is much easier to say one thing and do another. I am reminded of a episode in Lord of the Rings, in the chapter “Shadow of the past” where Gandalf challenges Frodo to cast away the Ring. Frodo even says he will, but fails.

and with an effort of will...[Frodo]made a movement, as if to cast it away – but he found he had put it back in his pocket.

I find that this is a wonderful illustration of temptation, in that we always seek to do what is right but are always held back by that nagging thought.....if that makes sense! “I know I need to stop doing (thing of your choice) but I want to do (thing of your choice) one last time” is, for me anyway, a common occurrence! What shouldn't really be one time becomes twice/thrice and so on! If I say I must stop doing something, then I must STOP doing something.....sadly easier said than done.

Too often as a person I where a mask, a mask that says “everything is OK here” but this is a bad thing, I do it as a Christian as well and fear that I am not the only one. It would be fantastic if I was supposed to live my life on my own, but I am not. The burden of Christianity, though relatively light, is, to an extent, designed to be shared, I believe, and this is why it is foolish not to have a confessor. If we do wear a mask we are, in effect, lying, both to others and frequently to ourselves. I don't think this is a clever thing to do! If I had not carried all the burden on myself at College I am sure that I would have gotten better grades than I did, but I was too proud to admit that all was not well. So often it is pride, and a refusal to share, that holds me back, which is why I find blogging so helpful!

It is important to spend the time that God deserves, but he does not force us to do so. We have to choose to sacrifice that time, or how else can our service be “a sacrifice of praise?” This, I believe, is the secret to becoming like Christ, to spend time with our God Father, Son and Holy Spirit leads us to a knowledge and understanding of our creator....Yes it is possible to see his image in all of creation; but if we want to know and understand him then we have to put the time and effort into getting to know and understand him.....or that is my understanding of things anyway!

O Christ our God, who at all time, and at every hour, in heaven and on earth, are worshipped and glorified; who are long-suffering, merciful and compassionate; who love the just and show mercy upon the sinner; who call all to salvation through the promise of blessings to come; O Lord, in this hour receive our supplications and direct our lives according to Your commandments. Sanctify our souls, Hallow our bodies, correct our thoughts, cleanse our minds; deliver us from all tribulations, evil and distress. Encompass us with Your holy Angels that, guided and guarded by them, we may attain to the unity of the faith and to the knowledge of Your unapproachable glory, for You are blessed unto ages of ages. Amen